Promises. Promises. Promises. All you do is break them anyway.

I really really hate it when people break their promises. I used to be like that back then but my bestfriend told me that I shouldn't be like that. Instead of saying "I promise", She told me I should just say "I'll try". That way the person wouldn't expect that much. And she's right. From then on, when someone asks me a favor and I'm not sure if I can do it, I just say "I'll try".

Recently, my parents both promised me something that we would all do together during the weekends. I was really excited. I haven't done anything during the last few days. I've just been in front of the computer for hours. Anywho, as always that promise was broken. I was stuck yet again here at home, doing nothing. I was kinda pissed off really. They always do that to me.

I just really wanted us to have fun. They're always so busy. They never have time to enjoy anymore. I know I sound selfish right now but I just want them to have fun too. They yet again made a promise that we'll do something fun one of these days. Well I'm not expecting anymore. DAMN IT!

After this week, I'll be all busy again and I wouldn't have time to do anything fun. It'll all be just study. I am really a loser. I haven't gone to the movies in ages. Haven't gone to the mall. Haven't gone to a gaming center. I don't have any social life anymore. Well maybe I have but it's only in the internet.

They want me to make it to the DL (Dean's List) and they are PROMISING me things again. DAMN. I hate it. ><>

Princess in Waiting.

Sa lahat ng bagay ako ang laging naghihintay. Hindi ba pwedeng ako naman ngayon ang aantayin? >< Is that too much to ask. Hahahaha. =))) OH WELL. That's life. Maybe in my past life, ako yung laging inaantay kaya ngayon ako naman daw ang laging mag-aantay.

Sa totoo lang. Sa mga kaibigan ko, ako lagi ang unang nag-aantay sa kanila. Sa lovelife, ako lagi ang nag-aantay. ANG LAGING UMAASA.

Andami ko narin naging kasawian sa buhay. Pag-ibig. Pag-aaral. Pagkakaibigan. BAKIT KAYA GANUN?

Eto na naman ako. Andami ko na namang tanong. HAY. O.o

SUBSTITUTE.

Lately, I've come to a realization that every experience I had with a boy, I was always the substitute. A very sad realization. :'(

I had a boy best friend when I was in my junior year of high school. It was the first time that I ever got one. =)) Anyways, we were really close. Months passed and the teasing began. We were always linked. At first, I didn't really see him as a crush or anything. He was just really playful and good around girls. But then, I started noticing him 'cause he was good in Math and the guitar. Every night, we would tease each other in Y.M. The conversation always lasted like an hour or more. He said he liked one of my friends so I always teased him. Of course, I was kinda hurt but it was okay. It was always like that.

But then, rumors started spreading that he had a crush on me. I felt kind of happy then. But our relationship did not go to the next level. We still remained best friends. Our Christmas party drew nearer and I planned to give him a gift. Actually, I always gave gifts to all my classmates but of course, I made his a special one. I came to the party earlier than him. When he came, he immediately went to one of his friends. He was showing them a cute jacket. I was feeling a bit nervous then. But not because I was thinking it was for me. Then I heard him ask help from his friend to write a letter. And BOOM! I heard the girl's name. Of course, it wasn't me.

After that, I just ran to the bathroom and cried my heart out. I didn't tell a soul about what I was feeling. Eventually they found out and everyone was eager to know why I was crying. They already had a clue. It was my mistake to cry like that. In the first place, nothing was going on between us. I made such a big deal about our closeness. I really regretted doing that kind of scene.

Dance night came and I still kept on crying. No one could comfort me even my best friends. Some guys asked me to dance but I was really in no mood at all especially when I see the two of them dancing so close to each other. My heart was really broken then.

The next day, our section planned on going to an amusement park. We used our car to get there. Obviously, he was there. During the trip, we were paired up. He was my partner of course. In the course of our stay in the amusement park, he was awfully sweet towards me. It was as if there was something between us. And when we were about to end our visit there, he held my hand. I was shocked but happy. And he bought us a pair of baller each. And a pin. It was like a couple's baller and pin.

But after that incident, he became cold towards me. I found out that he still could not replace the other girl with anyone. It was like he just used me to confirm his feelings for her. I was in total disarray after that incident. I hated his guts. I cried every night. My eyes were sore every morning I came to school I lost my friends because of him. I REALLY HATED HIM. I burnt the baller and the pin he gave me.

That was two years ago and now a boy has yet again entered my life. His older than me by 3 years. We have been acquaintances for a year now. We rarely see each other then but now, we usually do. He hasn't actually told me he like me but he treats me with care and love. He usually texts and chats me. He accompanied me home once. We treat each other very nicely. The only problem is... He already has a girlfriend.

Yes. What we are doing is wrong but I can't help it. I like him. WHAT TO DO?

I feel as though I am yet again being a substitute. I don't want to repeat the same mistake but... ><